


Playing Pick-up Line Chicken

by scratches



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Canon Divergence - No Hydra Takeover, Dirty Talk, F/M, Gen, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Pick-Up Lines, Surprise Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23472739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scratches/pseuds/scratches
Summary: Steve watches as Darcy Lewis and Brock Rumlow play Pick-Up Line chicken.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Brock Rumlow
Comments: 34
Kudos: 263





	Playing Pick-up Line Chicken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleMrsCookie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMrsCookie/gifts).



> Un beta'd  
> Don't own it  
> Literally spewed forth from my fingers.  
> Sorry/not sorry

There was a crowd watching them now, not that it ever bothered them or anything. Darcy and Brock were sitting across one another with shot glasses half full of liquor lined up in front of them. They both had a smug look on their face like they were not going to lose this game. 

"So what exactly is going on?" Steve asked Clint as he sat next to the archer.

Across the room, Brock said, "Are you a chicken farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock."

Clint offered Steve some of the popcorn he was holding. Steve took a large handful as Clint said, "They are playing pick-up line chicken." He shoved his hand back into the bowl as Brock took one of the shots in front of him. Wanda wordlessly shifted his shot glasses down 

Steve chewed his popcorn and furrowed his brows. "You mean… pick-up lines that someone would use at a bar?"

Clint vigorously nodded his head. "They tell each other a pick up line, if the other doesn't crack a smile, the speaker has to take a shot." 

They turned back to the unassuming space-lab assistant and the commander of STRIKE Alpha. "Do I want to know how long they've been playing?"

They both paused to listen to Darcy's counter, "That shirt looks very becoming on you..then again if I was on you, I'd be coming too."

"They're at round… twenty?" Clint shrugged. "I'm more impressed with the pick-up lines they've used."

"....are their livers going to be functional after this?" Steve asked as Darcy took a shot of the clear liquor.

"It's low ABV. They agreed to the liquor when the challenge was initiated."

"I wasn't aware they even knew one another." Steve grabbed more popcorn.

"I want our love to be like Pi, irrational and never ending." Brock said. Darcy's face didn't break.

"They've known one another since Thor's landing." Clint gestured between them as Brock took another shot. "It's a tie right now, two-two, for pick-up chicken. This is supposedly the tie breaker to end all tie breakers."

"Am I on an episode of Fixer Upper? Because I've never seen hardwood like that in real life."

"Shit that's a good one," Sam said over Steve's shoulder. Brock didn't move. Darcy took another shot.

"Do you have pet insurance? No? Too bad because your pussy's gonna get pounded tonight."

Clint and Steve's eyes went wide. "Oh man, I think they are upping the ante." Sam cackled. Brock took a shot.

"Now I know why they call it a beaver because I'm dying for your wood."

"Those are some nice legs what time do they open?"

"Are you my skin after I stress-eat a bunch of cheese during finals week? Because I’m dying for a facial."

"Oh shit! It's a lightning round!" Clint laughed as some popcorn spilled out of the bowl.

"Did you work on the Manhattan Project? ‘Cause you’re a weapon of ass destruction."

"You look like a hard worker. I've got a hold you can fill."

"Need a pillow to sit on? I'll be yours if you want."

"You’re just like a wine tasting. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing."

"Are you a shark? I've got some swimmers you can swallow."

"My couch pulls out but I hope you don't." 

Steve sputtered. "Are they for real?" Sam and Clint nodded quickly with smiles on their faces.

"I think my allergies are acting up. Because every time you're around my dick swells up."

"Are you related to Dracula? Because you looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me."

Everyone in the room was silent as Darcy took another shot. Brock leaned forward and said, "You sure you're not Medusa? I took one look at you and got rock hard." 

Everyone in the room looked from Brock and over to Darcy. Then back to Brock and back to Darcy. She had been a very sexy Medusa at Tony's Halloween party.

"Fuck you, Brock." Darcy laughed before she took another shot.

Wanda reached over and held up Brock's arm, "And the winner is Commander Rumlow!"

Steve watched as Darcy put back the four shots left in front of Brock. "So what exactly does he win?" Steve whispered it to Clint and Sam.

"No one knows. They agree upon terms before the game starts. Only them and Wanda's brain actually know." Clint picked up a piece of popcorn and threw it at Darcy. "I lost twenty bucks on you! Boo!"

Darcy lifted her hand and flipped her middle finger up at him. "I tried my best, bird brain."

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Clint shook his head and stood next to Steve. "So, you want to try some of these pick-up lines out at the bar Cap? We can video it for Natasha, she's stuck in Iceland."

"I don't think any of these are particularly…. gentlemanly," Steve rubbed his hand across his beard. "Some of them are down right filthy."

Sam clapped a hand on Steve's shoulder, "So what's a pick-up line someone would have used in the olde days of yore?"

Steve thought for a moment. "If beauty was time, you'd be eternity."

Darcy sidled up to him, "Aw that's a sweet one Steve." 

Thick arms wrapped around Darcy's waist before Rumlow hooked his head over her shoulder. "The one thing your eyes haven't told me yet is your name." Everyone turned to look at Brock before he nuzzled her neck. "Did you invent the airplane? You seem Wright to me."

"I understood that one!" Steve chuckled.

"Can I take your picture so I can show Santa exactly what I want next year?" Darcy turned her head towards Rumlow. 

Steve watched as they made eye contact, their flushed cheeks pinked even more. He could hear their hearts racing. There was more going on here than the others knew. 

"Are you made of apples, because you're sweet as pie." Brock moved his lips up her neck and to her mouth. Clint and Sam whooped behind him as Darcy and Brock chastely kissed. 

Narrowing his eyes, Steve leveled his gaze upon them "Have you two been playing everyone?"

Darcy's laugh was higher than normal. "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put I, U, and D together."

"But if we get started now, we could have a fourth of July baby." Brock countered.

Everyone stilled with their laughter. "Joke's on you, it's going to share a birthday with Harry Potter."

Clint made a honking noise next to him. "Wait. But you just busted down… like half a bottle of vodka."

Wanda walked over and handed the bottle to Clint. "It was water." She smiled slyly.

"The tie breaker was just a ruse!" Sam exclaimed.

Steve assessed the situation while Brock continued to pepper kisses across Darcy's neck and shoulders. She hadn't drank anything at Christmas, only had cocktails (mocktails?) that Natasha made her on New Years Eve, and Rumlow had asked to be taken out of the field. "How long have you known?"

Darcy grasped Brock's hand and held him. Darcy made eye contact with everyone around the room. "The twenty third." 

"We've been practicing since her birthday though." Brock said crudely.

"Practicing is the best part." Clint said amiably. "Laura and I still practice.

"We might practice some more." Darcy wagged her brows at Steve. 

"You both are trouble." Steve put his head in his hand and shook it.

"Let's go practice, little mama." Brock whispered. Darcy laughed high again as he untwined his arms and held her hips.

"Y'all be safe now!" Sam said as the two of them exited the room.

"Woo-ee what a ride." Clint shoved the last of the popcorn into his mouth. Around the kernels he asked, "So, Cap, what do you say? Want to try some of them out?"

~~

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!  
> How did Darcy/Brock turn into my OTP? There isn't enough content for them to be my OTP.


End file.
